VERA JOY STILLMAN

February 4, 1946 - May 20, 2026

Vera Joy Stillman, 80, formerly of Edison and Somerset, New Jersey, died peacefully surrounded by her family on May 20, 2026, from a brief and sudden illness following a prolonged period of declining physical health. She was born in Brooklyn, New York to Mae and Harold Siskind, and was the younger of two sisters. She attended Wingate High School in Brooklyn, and graduated from Brooklyn College, City University of New York, majoring in English and Education in the Honors Program.

Vera became an elementary school teacher and middle-school English teacher, with a career that spanned grades 2-8 and schools from the inner city to the suburbs. Interrupted by a nearly decade-long hiatus to raise her children, she retired in 2005 from Menlo Park Elementary School in Edison, having spent 30 years as a devoted public educator. The thousands of students whose lives she touched are testament to her enduring legacy of dedication and commitment to education and personal enrichment.

Vera was also unrelentingly devoted to her family, especially her two children, Mark and Abby, who survive her. She was an adoring Grammy to granddaughters Annabelle and Nadine, telling everyone who would listen about their virtues and accomplishments. She was at once a pragmatist and yet always hopeful, she was traditional yet thoroughly modern, and she instilled in her children and grandchildren many of the virtues, values, and interests that remain firmly embedded in them to this day.

Vera lived a life of kindness, inclusion, meaning, and purpose. Commencing with the 1960s civil rights movement and continuing throughout her life, she was a tireless advocate for, and supporter of, myriad political and societal causes, including social and racial justice, women’s rights, the environment, public radio and television, veterans’ benefits and care, disability advocacy, combating antisemitism, and animal rights (an animal lover, Vera doted on her dogs Celtie and Smokey and was an avid birdwatcher—cardinals were her favorite).

A voracious reader, Vera loved literature and poetry (Shakespeare, Dickens, and Emily Dickinson were among the most prominent authors on her bookshelves). Her library of hundreds of books with meticulous notes in the margins was her prized possession. A gifted writer and chronicler of contemporary events in her own right, her family and friends could always look forward to seeing in their mailboxes her birthday and holiday cards (she never missed a single one), newspaper clippings, and general musings, and editors of local news publications were the frequent recipients of her opinion letters, many of which appeared in print. And Vera had an insatiable passion for the arts, particularly classical music and theater. Her collection of Broadway Playbills spans 50 years. She was also a faithful movie-goer, seeing all the new films in the theater with friends every week, right up until the week before she died.

In addition to her children, Vera is survived by Jeremy Grayson, her beloved son-in-law of more than 21 years; her cherished granddaughters, Annabelle and Nadine Grayson; her treasured daughter-in-law, Anara Zhakupova; and 8 nieces and nephews. She was preceded in death by her older sister, Iris, who passed away in 2022.

Vera made friends everywhere she went, and she will be dearly missed by all.

A funeral service will be held at Congregation Kehilat Shalom in Belle Mead at 9:45 a.m. on Sunday, May 24. Internment will follow at Beth Israel Cemetery in Woodbridge.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the League of Women’s Voters: https://donate.lwv.org/page/84107/donate/1.